Analog and a Cube and less is more

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Agaton Sax

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The other thread where I lamented all music I heard and never heard off being available from my chair refers. It is my idea of a Utopian Hell.

In the kitchen, my wife has a board with today's menu. 2 Choices: Take it or Leave it. In fact, those that know say the best restaurant in the world is in Province. There is no menu and only one dish. Eat it or bugger off.

I like that and pine for the days when I had a total of 32 Records. I did not have to think so much. Thinking tires me.

So I got one Le Cube from Louis. I fill it with Lps. When full, I either relisten or refile them all and start filling it again. Perfect. Yes but I keep thinking of a David Kramer story:

In the Boland the people in town build their houses right on the street. There would be the street, a small bridge over the leivoor and steps to the stoep. Ostensibly this is so that they can have a large rear yard. There, after a hot day, one can sit under a willow tree, the air heavy with the fragrance of roses, lavender and jasmine. While crunching on a fresh orange carrot from the garden you can watch the peaches ripen to their scrumptious perfection. Oh bulldust, I say, It is only that they won't miss a thing happening in the street or to the neigbours.

Anyway, there would be two bay windows and a front door with coloured glass. Behind that a long gloomy corridor with a high ceiling. The corridor ends in another corridor so a T is formed. To the left the kitchen. Where the 2 corridors meet, stands the ugliest stand carrying the largest Delicious Monster you ever saw.
On the left wall is a portrait of Smuts or Malan, depending on the politics of the house. Depending on that portrait is a second portrait of either Sailor Malan or Siener van Rensburg. On the right wall are portraits of the two ugliest, sourest people you ever saw. Must be Grandpa and Grandma. Next to it a portrait of the house owner and wife on their marriage and then a beige cloth with either the Lord's Prayer or a Dutch proverb embroidered in pink, purple and green. That is in the old days. Now there is a portrait of a youngish couple in the snow laughing at the camera and two enlarged pictures of toddlers the old people will never see and only speak to on Skype but they don't know what to say and the kids speak only English with a funny twang.

The reason I carry on about the portraits is that they all have devilish sharp frames. Some time ago the house owner had a wall-to-wall carpet laid down in the corridor over the wood planks. It makes far less noise, is easier to keep clean, and does add a bit of class over the plebs next door. If the carpet was put down in the seventies it would be either large flowers or geometric shapes. If it was the Eighties it would be salt and pepper. The Lady of the House gets worried that with all the traffic the carpet may wear through. So they buy a carpet protector. This is essentially a clear plastic with tiny stars that runs down the center of the carpet. The house owner falls so in love with this that all visitors are now told to walk on the edge of the carpet and not damage the protector. The result is, depending on length, you arrive in the kitchen with either shoulder or face bleeding and bumped purple and black from the bloody portraits.

Louis's le Cube reminds me of that carpet protector. You see, it is only a functional crate but Louis makes it from real quality wood so it makes anything with a hint of veneer look really cheap and Louis is a real craftsman, so anything made by Indonesian or Balinese pygmies from cheap wood looks exactly like that.

Oh well. Hey, a Martha and the Muffins LP. Where and when did I buy that?
 

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