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Chat => The Kassler Rib => Topic started by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 09:43:54 AM

Title: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 09:43:54 AM
I can be twisted and off the wall,quick to respond,short of thought,misunderstood due to my own errors,a touch evil and even a touch touched but this story I simply have to share ......
First a little background.....
My youngest two were born an hour apart,first Zoe and then Ross who struggled being breach (and because we got to the hospital a little late) the planned cesarean was never going to happen in time.They were 35 weeks and he was unwell spending a few weeks in intensive care with lung problems.
He recovered just fine and has grown into beautiful young chap with his father's wicked ways and a Charlie Chaplin personality.A laugh a minute he is but focus and concentration are not his most accomplished traits along with a slightly slower grasp of the obvious.We kept him back in grade 1 while his sister moved on.He is a soft hearted and gentle soul that makes me proud because I value his personality a lot more than his perceived lack of brightness (he is a smart kid believe me)keep in mind that he is the youngest with three sisters to contend with.....now onto the story.
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 09:52:04 AM
Ross has had a constant friend that was more regular than most through the years (and one other, our slightly older neighbours son who is 12 with Ross being 11)
Ross shares a room with his sister along with the challenges that arrive on occasions (this one I never saw "coming though")....why the inverted commas?.....keep reading.
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 09:59:24 AM
Here is how it went down......
Ross had his long time school friend dumped here by his mom (I don't mean to sound unkind,just trying to give you the picture)....freshly divorced with newborn twins to deal with as well and a husband who ran to you chaps up north to get away.....things could surely not have been easy for her so we really did not mind the late pick ups or the sleepovers that never ended.
This is pretty much how things always ran and it was fine.......until.....
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 10:20:02 AM
Three boys (the neighbour's boy being the third) and my daughter Zoe all sleep over one Saturday night......One room,no physical door,just one of those slide shut thingie mabobbies which is never closed...The kids played and got in each others hair as they usually do on occasion during this Saturday,be it over playstation controllers or an unkind word or the three against one gang up etc.....anyway
.....on this day(a good few months ago now)....Ross' school buddy and himself were ganging up and irritating his sister no end.....excluding her from pool games and doing all they could to irritate her soooo. ......unknown to anyone Zoe snuck out of the pool and went into her room,opened up this boys overnight bag,removed his undies and headed for the bathroom where she made some unholy concoction of toothpaste blended with hair conditioner and God only knows what else which she then lovingly placed in the area where the "article what counts" would gently rest.Neatly folded she returned it to his bag .....
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 10:27:08 AM
......evening came and then morning......unknown to anyone was the festering witches brew,just waiting to assault the not yet dropped nutsack with it's deadly potion of fluoride and anti-dandruff.
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 10:42:21 AM
Mom arrives in the morning and collects her son and his Aquafresh undies,we all smile and say our goodbyes as they toddle off in the Astra to do some morning shopping.
The incense of fern anti-kroes softener steams in the parking lot and melds with the red,white and blue gum disease preventer while mom goes about her high heel wholewheat low fat milk purchases.
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 10:43:45 AM
.....that afternoon......The phone rings
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Trompie67 on May 21, 2015, 10:53:05 AM
HKGK

Do go on..... :)
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: fdlsys on May 21, 2015, 10:57:55 AM
fark... I'm on the edge of my seat!!!  :ROFLMAO:
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: oradba69 on May 21, 2015, 11:41:07 AM
Hehehe.
AND??????
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 11:51:02 AM
.......A rant the likes of which I would not wish upon anyone ensues......Tori Spelling starts whining about the indignity,the invasion of privacy,the belittling of her son etc (I was sat opposite Ursh when she took the call and she was struggling to make sense of it).....was wonderful to watch quite honestly (she's such a lady my Urshie)
A family meeting was called to find the culprit behind this awful assault....first stop was Ross who did the gaping mouth indignant "It's always me!" (at least he's honest,it usually is:)
Zoe is sly and sat quietly saying nothing initially but then the truth emerged.
Apologies were made etc but the abandoned trophy wife was adamant that her son would not be seeing or communicating with Ross any longer despite the fact that it was his sister who defiled the Thor imprint testacle hammock.No loss,one less mouth to feed I reckoned,I tried to discipline Zoe but am not mature enough so probably laughed while doing so..........end of story?.....I thought so,months pass,we saved a bit on post toasties but wait........It gets better.....
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: fdlsys on May 21, 2015, 11:56:52 AM
 :drool: do tell!?
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 12:20:18 PM
This is where things turn in a whole new direction......"Condition" yourself for this folks.I get a call from Ursh who works at the school our kids attend,an urgent meeting is called which we must attend....The boys father has flown down and complained that somebody in our house was responsible for the semen in his sons underpants :ROFLMAO:......so perturbed is he that he has removed the boy from his school and mother and he will be flying up to Jhb with him in the morning,never to be seen in the Fairest Cape again....
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 12:25:35 PM
See how quickly things turn......just like that.....The lab results should be a hoot.....
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: oradba69 on May 21, 2015, 12:32:03 PM
Hehehe.
Can we deduct the trophy wife is not a spitter or a swallower?  therefore the lack in identifying skills ;) And maybe the reason she is divorced?
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: fdlsys on May 21, 2015, 12:35:36 PM
...will be flying up to Jhb with him in the morning,never to be seen in the Fairest Cape again....
Ah, like a fairy tale, happy ending an'all.
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Trompie67 on May 21, 2015, 12:36:43 PM
That's insane!

Admittedly, from what it seems, I, like you, would be high-fiveing (sp?) my daughter rather than scolding her, it is, really really, k@k funny!

Lab test? Seriously? WTF? I'm speechless!

I guess trophy hunting dad never did National Service, Veldskool, Scouts. Hell, he probably never had any friends! Well, not REAL friends anyhow! Bet he still plays "Bingo" in his sleep.......  :point:

A tad of an overreaction from the father is the understatement of the century, however I hope it doesn't result in prolonged negativity from the school towards Ross and/or Zoe.

Please give Zoe a  :thumbs: from me!
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 12:38:21 PM
 :ROFLMAO:.....I knew you guys would appreciate it...... (I made up the lab test part)
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 01:36:32 PM
Some may find it disturbing that I make light of such things,I can honestly say that a giggle is my only talent.I remember how I laughed uncontrollably aged 14 when a friend lay dying on the floor in front of me when falling from a tree on a field we used to play on and partially impaling himself on a steel fence post,he survived and never forgave me,the fit I was in was uncontrallable and even his brother beating on me just seemed to increase my level of excitement.....I remember being particularly disappointed when his breathing returned sooner than I had wished....I am flawed and as such I apologise.
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: AlleyCat on May 21, 2015, 02:16:19 PM
Thanks Andre for sharing, made my wife and myself laugh so hard. That was far better than reading about the CTHC!
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Michon on May 21, 2015, 02:59:16 PM
 :BWAHAHAH:
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: alternativeroute on May 21, 2015, 03:43:24 PM
(https://kristendperkins.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/baby-laughing.jpg)
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 03:51:48 PM
What will I do if Pathology finds Johnsons in the sample?
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: fuz940510 on May 21, 2015, 03:59:15 PM
Depends which of the Johnsons it is  :ROFLMAO: good story
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 04:15:53 PM
I am seriously considering legal action....getting advice from my stylist later....we don't do Tres semme  here and I have the Johnson's to prove it!
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: 2wice on May 21, 2015, 06:10:47 PM
After a rather tough day this has been very entertaining,

Thanks  :thumbs:
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 21, 2015, 06:33:47 PM
JQ,where is the one where I set the stationwagon on fire at the park?
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: alternativeroute on May 21, 2015, 06:45:07 PM
JQ,where is the one where I set the stationwagon on fire at the park?

You need to do keyword searches  :thinking:

Keywords to feed Google were: GOD TADPOLES MUSHY COALS BRAAI (http://lmgtfy.com/?q=GOD+TADPOLES+MUSHY+COALS+BRAAI)  :point:  :ROFLMAO:  :ROFLMAO:  :ROFLMAO:

http://www.avforums.co.za/index.php?topic=19806.0
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: dogears on May 21, 2015, 09:52:41 PM
Omg, absolutely hosing myself right now, if you'll excuse the reference to water (which saved the day, along with the tadpoles).  Geez sorry Andre but that must have been a helluva thing with the car.  Note to self, never attempt to recycle brickettes.
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on May 22, 2015, 09:37:04 AM
Crikey,you could not script this story any better......I get a message from the school saying that "there is nothing to worry about,we were just concerned that your son may have been touched."

I responded via email...."Glad to hear that things are sorted and I can confirm that my son is definitely touched,always has been,right from the time he was born."
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Michon on May 22, 2015, 09:49:07 AM
Read the whole thing again :BWAHAHAH:
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Rodney_gold on May 25, 2015, 10:59:50 AM
It seems no good deed goes unpunished...
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: stereo247 on September 07, 2015, 02:18:55 PM
sounds like she was waiting to overload the kid to the dad and this was her opportunity....
Title: Re: The abandoned trophy wife seeks revenge......
Post by: Kent Kassler on September 08, 2015, 06:05:20 AM
 I thought so as well bud.....(give me a shout when you have a gap sometime pal)