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Chat => Legendary threads => Topic started by: GearSlave on July 30, 2013, 06:07:01 PM

Title: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: GearSlave on July 30, 2013, 06:07:01 PM
This came across my Email this morning and I just had to share it. I've taken the liberty of adding it to Legendary threads as I've got a good feeling about this one  :BWAHAHAH:

I've edited it a little to remove 'context'  ;D

Quote

You lost me at 'turntable'. Right. So ermmm, how does it go? Oh yes, Brace Yerselves Sheila, here it comes!!!!!


Good God people! Has the world gone mad? Who in their right thinking mind would consider an archaic compromised compressed format like vinyl?   Next thing the tape deck will be making its re-appearance - the sheer abject raw unutterable horror of it all I am afraid boggles the mind. Despite the facts that tapes are immeasurable superior to records in every way with the sole exception of not having the same ability to be turned into retro hand bags I am nonetheless of the opinion that any grown man, with actual money to spend that does not qualify as pocket money given to him by mommy or daddy, who considers vinyl is demonstrably not suitable to be spending said money on ANYTHING let alone something, God forbid, musically inclined. It's 2013. Vinyl is dead. It sounds horrible, it always sound horrible. Leave it alone in it's trashy cigarette butt filled mouldy grave and move on! Move on!!!

And if anyone so much as mentions the word 'tonearm' I think I might just go ballistic and rip  it off and shove it somewhere deeply offensive.


Now peeps, before I am accused of being negative and detractory (a new word I invented just for the occasion) or worse, crusty, from the entire shameful episode that is the mention of vinyl, I have written a comprehensive article on this particular subject. And I further abuse the use of the comma without apology.

"The Jeremy Clarkson Take" (actually flip Jeremy, I was here first)

If you listen to vinyl you are a pratt who considers himself superior to others because of the format you listen to. You don't understand it and you believe you are hearing crap that you are not even capable of fathoming you hopeless toady nancy boy. You should go out and kill yourself. No-one will care or come to your funeral.


"The Everyman's version."

Vinyl was invented as a format in the 1890's or sometime equally so long ago no one really cares. It was crappy then and it's crappy now. It suffers from compression and a lack of bandwidth  - i.e. the ability to faithfully reproduce across all frequencies. The only reason it sounds like anything at all is because you're spending wads of cash on over priced over engineered pieces of kit that are solely designed to make a crappy format sound less crappy. Every time you play your much loved single pressing 'record' you destroy a tiny but of it. Think if this as your musical soul - the same thing is happening every time you listen to snap crackle and pop your soul gets a little blacker and the Devil himself a little happier as you sell yourself down the rivers of self delusion that somehow this 150 million year old crappy technology is delivering something more musical to you than scratching your fingers across a black board.

Well I've got some good news for you sunshine! Wake up and smell the roses - this is 2013. The very FIRST iteration of CD, which is brilliant in every way, kicked vinyls butt onto the scrap heap so comprehensively it didn't realise it was there. Every manufacturer of the 'good old' vinyl brigade abandoned ship like scruvy infested mangy rats in the stampede to the wondrous new digital format that was CD. Who was left behind for vinyl? The answer is no-one!

And yet, now, the salesmen would have you believe there is a revolution? Somehow along the way when vinyl was being (rightyfully) trodden into the fetid steaming horse turd covered track that is the world of hi-fi sales, every one got it wrong? One hundred billion consumers wrong? CD was wrong? And vinyl was right and better all along?

Utter rubbish! No, vinyl is making a miserable attempt at self reincarnation because of one reason only. And that single sole inexorably painful harsh reality filled reason is:.... drum roll please.... money! The current vinyl pushers seeking to distinguish themselves from their competitors in the digital world - well - let's face it, they can't - digital is so good and so cheap - have resorted to the format last seen as popular when the Sun King Louis was freaking in his palace gardens at Versailles purely because now, with such a shitty horrible format, of course their interpretation of it would sound different and every word ever printed about vinyl, save these words of painful truth, have been issued to lead you down the garden path to hear that which you cannot hear - to delude you into feeling that which cannot be felt and into hoodwinking you with the wool so far over your eyes your testicles are in danger of overheating.

Vinyl. The ultimate expression of just how far away your ears can be led from the reality of that which is music, pure and simple.

The moral of the lesson children, is to never, ever let the facts interfere with a perfectly good argument. Or a free lunch.
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: darrylo on July 30, 2013, 06:18:33 PM
I Know.

He sold off all hes vinyl turntables at the first sign of a CD and hes now in denial.

Keep telling yourself.... soon you will believe it all. :sh1tstirrer:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: SS100 on July 30, 2013, 06:49:49 PM
reason is:.... drum roll please.... money!

Is this a (failed) reverse psychology attempt to sell more digital equipment?
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Andrew on July 30, 2013, 06:57:52 PM
(http://i39.tinypic.com/sevpz8.jpg)

Oooo, the haters gonna come out in their swarms in the morning...
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: d0dja on July 30, 2013, 07:25:28 PM
F*** vinyl.... I want my cassette tapes. Let's not forget these eejits.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-22533522 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-22533522)  :facepalm:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Steerpike on July 30, 2013, 07:28:00 PM
Polyvinyl chloride in 1890??? Wow, those imaginary chemists were way ahead of their time.
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Rotten Johnny on July 30, 2013, 07:42:21 PM
Never a truer word spoken.  Who is this guy, I'm going to buy him a case of Bells.
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: GearSlave on July 30, 2013, 07:43:38 PM
Is this a (failed) reverse psychology attempt to sell more digital equipment?

I guess I should've stated that what was said in the post is not my opinion, I just thought the rant was pretty funny!
Title: Re: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: GECO on July 30, 2013, 07:46:14 PM
Never a truer word spoken.  Who is this guy, I'm going to buy him a case of Bells.

Yes I agree






Give him the kakest "whisky" you can find
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: IvMan on July 30, 2013, 07:47:38 PM
I've got a good feeling about this one  :BWAHAHAH:
:sh1tstirrer:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: SS100 on July 30, 2013, 07:51:34 PM
.... is not my opinion,

Phew..we thought you'd finally lost it.

Yes I agree
Give him the kakest "whiskEy" you can find
  :BWAHAHAH:

Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Rotten Johnny on July 30, 2013, 07:55:44 PM
^^^ Oi, where's my bottle of that Japanese honey you promised?  Small price to pay for a certain serial number :whistler:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: GECO on July 30, 2013, 07:58:48 PM
Ag bliksem.....serial number? Just another bloody digit
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: SS100 on July 30, 2013, 08:03:31 PM
^^^ Oi, where's my bottle of that Japanese honey you promised? 

I imported the last dozen liters.
It's Malcolm's turn. Next time you email him, ask him where the fluk's River's Hibiki?
And.......

Small price to pay for a certain serial number :whistler:

Pissorf!
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Rotten Johnny on July 30, 2013, 08:05:56 PM
I imported the last dozen litres.
It's Mal's turn. Next time you email him, ask him when the fluk's he bringing in River's Hibiki?
And.......

Pissorf!
I'll give Mal a gentle reminder...and then, when you're done sorting that little detail we can talk about the true cost of unique serialisation  :ROFLMAO:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: SS100 on July 30, 2013, 08:14:01 PM
...we can talk about the true cost of unique serialisation  :ROFLMAO:
Here we go again...  :facepalm:

The true cost, is having my mancave contaminated with digital riff-raff - trying it's damdest to emulate the gorgeous sound of analogue vinyl.
 :)
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Rotten Johnny on July 30, 2013, 08:30:18 PM
^^^  :whistler: Your donation towards my Hibiki fund is much appreciated :thumbs:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Andrew on July 30, 2013, 08:54:35 PM
Die vinyl die! Viva MP3s...  :EGrin:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Andrew on July 30, 2013, 08:56:27 PM
Never a truer word spoken.  Who is this guy, I'm going to buy him a case of Bells.
I might share the cost!
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Rotten Johnny on July 30, 2013, 09:00:26 PM
...the gorgeous sound of analogue vinyl.
let it out, you got raisins.
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: SS100 on July 30, 2013, 09:03:33 PM
^^^  :whistler: Your donation towards my Hibiki fund is much appreciated :thumbs:

As is the generous discount you gave me on the Vivere.    :thumbs: :thumbs:
What's this got to do with the drivel Gert posted?
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Rotten Johnny on July 30, 2013, 09:05:38 PM
What discount on the Vivere - the 5k was Hibiki money, you want a Vivere that's an entirely different discussion.
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: SS100 on July 30, 2013, 09:21:28 PM
As is the generous discount you gave me on the Vivere.    :thumbs: :thumbs:
What's this got to do with the drivel Gert posted?

shyte - wasn't supposed to mention the discount.  Sorry.  :comfort:
Anyway, I'm outa here.

Before I go.... just in case one of the anal types post the question...
(http://i1135.photobucket.com/albums/m627/mikeabramson/Public%20Photo%20dump/Oppokickarse-2.png) (http://s1135.photobucket.com/user/mikeabramson/media/Public%20Photo%20dump/Oppokickarse-2.png.html)

Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Rotten Johnny on July 30, 2013, 09:25:36 PM
shyte - wasn't supposed to mention the discount.  Sorry.  :comfort:
I too have the occasional fantasy  :BWAHAHAH:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Rotten Johnny on July 30, 2013, 09:34:41 PM
Shall I move this thread to Vinyl and make it Sticky?
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Eish on July 30, 2013, 10:23:42 PM
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/wootsaleimages/Fuming_Mad4obDetail.png)

An extreme case of affirmation, me thinks
Title: Re: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: oNyX on July 31, 2013, 05:29:34 AM
Give him the kakest "whisky" you can find

Firstwatch.   :whistler:

Vinyl has something that CD doesn't have. On the other hand you can record a LP to uncompressed WAVE. But.... (http://trustmeimascientist.com/2013/02/04/the-science-of-sample-rates-when-higher-is-better-and-when-it-isnt/)

There were times where LPs was R2 each. AN ENTIRE LP!! That's cheaper than iTunes.  :point:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Kent Kassler on July 31, 2013, 07:38:46 AM
^^stop discussing their true value....some people have feelings you know!
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Andrew on July 31, 2013, 08:54:32 AM
Before I go.... just in case one of the anal types post the question...
(http://i1135.photobucket.com/albums/m627/mikeabramson/Public%20Photo%20dump/Oppokickarse-2.png) (http://s1135.photobucket.com/user/mikeabramson/media/Public%20Photo%20dump/Oppokickarse-2.png.html)

I think the question was already asked and answered!  :EGrin:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: I Shot Tupac!!! on July 31, 2013, 10:46:00 AM
Oh my...  :-X
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: oNyX on July 31, 2013, 10:46:33 AM
:BWAHAHAH: Oh well, at least some LPs have sentimental value. Like this one Trevor Nasser LP, its got Vyfster on it. :dance:

But according to the quoted article, it sucks. It's not a CD, no relaxing rice crispy effect. :vsad:
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: stereo247 on December 22, 2013, 03:09:09 PM
Firstwatch.   :whistler:

Vinyl has something that CD doesn't have. On the other hand you can record a LP to uncompressed WAVE. But.... (http://trustmeimascientist.com/2013/02/04/the-science-of-sample-rates-when-higher-is-better-and-when-it-isnt/)

There were times where LPs was R2 each. AN ENTIRE LP!! That's cheaper than iTunes.  :point:

Yes, distortion... And don't forget breakfast is the first meal of the day. Nothing like rice crispies which just like vinyl snap crackle and pop ...
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: chrisc on December 22, 2013, 03:51:41 PM
I have some cylinder records made in 1896-1899.  At least you can hear the words.  In case you missed them, they repeat the chorus 5 times in the 2 minute recording

You can listen to it (and more) here:  http://www.tinfoil.com/cm-1311.htm
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: Wiredforlife on December 26, 2013, 11:22:17 AM
"Give that man a Bells"

Could'nt agree with the chap more. Vinyls sucks, a pure money making scam. And to the guy that saw there was a market for frisbee suckers after digital music came to be! You deserve a Bells as well. 

First Google search on why Vynil sucks

HERE!!!!

http://marlene-d.blogspot.com/2011/12/hi-my-sweet-little-schweinehunde-today.html


Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: DeonC on January 28, 2014, 05:12:11 AM
F*** vinyl.... I want my cassette tapes. Let's not forget these eejits.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-22533522 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-22533522)  :facepalm:

Was this printed on April the 1st? Sure that date at the top of the article is wrong.
Title: Re: This was too good not to share - Why Vinyl sucks!
Post by: DeonC on January 28, 2014, 05:31:40 AM
You lost me at 'turntable'. Right. So ermmm, how does it go? Oh yes, Brace Yerselves Sheila, here it comes!!!!! ...........

Ma, we found the Tinman! What?!? Of course his ears are made of tin, Ma, what did you expect?!? And he's an opinionated SOB too! :point:

Man, I heard that a percentage of people can't hear the effects of stereo. Now it seems there are some people that can't hear, period. He is articulate, stupid, but articulate. :ROFLMAO:

http://marlene-d.blogspot.com/2011/12/hi-my-sweet-little-schweinehunde-today.html

And this candidate for ridicule actually had a turntable. Probably the cheapest piece of ... he could find (BSR, maybe?). :faint: :nutter: And by the sounds of it, he did not care much for the quality of the discs either. :moron: And he wonders why it sounded bad? A Ferrari needs a bit more care in ownership than a Daihatsu, but...

As the Bible says, in the last days there will be people who can see but are blind, and can hear but are deaf.  :BWAHAHAH: