Unicorn hair cables, and realigning your system?s chakra

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JonnyP

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Available soon (the Unicorn is being delivered next month and is guaranteed 100% ?not a horse with a modified kitchen roll inner taped to its head? by a real Nigerian Princess on OLX), the cables will be made of 99.999% Oxygen Free Unicorn hair woven to 18AWG thickness with a copper core.  The Unicorn hair is then surrounded by a specially chosen red or black polymer coating and these are aligned to become a speaker cable which can be terminated with banana plugs or spade connectors.  The cables are not only optimized for anti-gravitational effects on the electron flow (a by-product of breeding the unicorns with Pegasus), but have added Unicorn hair tubes to filter low and high frequency carrying electrons to ensure delivery to your speakers in perfect synchronization with the intent of the band during recording (or their head roadie ?Butt Crack? if they were too intoxicated).  The overall effect of this technology is to realign your system?s chakra to the point that it will only play George Harrison, Santana (when he was Devadip Carlos Santana) and Mahavishnu Orchestra albums.

Available to pre-order at only $2000 per m (minimum order is 6m).
 

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