Drug Abuse

[hans]

Good afternoon all forum members,
I am writing this thread firstly to thank the forum members who supported me and my wife when my youngest daughter became addicted to heroine. It was the most difficult time in our family life ever.
The members who supported us know who they are. My daughter's addiction added to a very unfair situation at work resulted in me beginning to suffer from depression. I lost my high paying job.
Being unable to work and paying for my daughters rehab, loan sharks who threatened to kill her, buying back my pawned possessions from Cash Crusaders and the loss of two cars written off by my daughter, I had to use savings and sell all my shares that were supposed to pay for our overseas holidays and to enable me to finally buy a hi end sound system.

Secondly - I am not writing this thread looking for sympathy. Since my daughter's addiction I joined a support group for parents who's children are addicted to drugs. We made many mistakes trying to apply logic when we spoke to our daughter. Logic does no count any longer. When the craving for drugs kicks in nothing is more important than the drug itself.

The purpose of my thread is to invite anybody who currently is in a similar situation that we were in, to please contact me should they feel totally helpless and desperate as they can see their child fading away and behaving like a stranger. There is hope and there are ways to handle addicts. My daughter overdosed and nearly died yet she has been clean for 17 months. I will give out my contact details to people who would like to speak to me or who would like my personal email address.

God bless those people who have given us advice and support to overcome this problem as parents as well those who assisted my daughter to kick the addiction. Hans

[CAD]

Hans, I feel your pain and went through something very similar with my wifes youngest son.(second marriage)
The pain and anguish she went through as well as the lies and emotional blackmail of an addict took its toll on her.
I think the greatest shock to her was that she learned she was actually the enabler.
Logic as you say never worked and it cost us a whack of moolah to get him through rehab.He is now clean for 3 years.
Glad to hear your daughter has been clean for 17 months as I understand it heroine is the hardest drug to beat.
Kudos to you for offering your support as it was through the help of a strong support group that we got through this.

I too had some good support from one or two guys here and a certain oom in PTA who gave a lot more than he knew

Oh and good news that you have bought yourself a sound system..looking forward to seeing it in the members kit pictures thread

[KenMasters]

Terrible to see someone struggling with heroin addiction, sorry man. I hope she manages to keep clean.

[hans]

I agree with CAD. Parents try to do good and by doing so enable the addict to continue using drugs.
Quite often it is the mother who is the target of the addict. Tears and promises to stop using seem to get further with the mother than the farther. I wonder how much money my wife gave my daughter that I don't know about.

I you love your child there comes a time when  tough decisions have to be made.
Can you imagine our reaction when we were told by the support group to kick our daughter out of our home?
My first reaction was that would use her body to get drugs. The group just said this " How do you know that she is not doing it already?" Unless you make it so uncomfortable for her by living on the street, she will never stop.

Good news!! Just before I told my daughter to leave our house ( after she managed to get the key to the safe and sold my wife's jewellery - some pieces belonged to her grandmother ) we heard of an implant that stops the craving to most drugs, but mainly opium based drugs like heroine.

My daughter had a choice, get the implant or leave the house. The implant is fantastic. The addict can continue to go to work - if he / she still has one, and they are not separated from their "friends".
The addict has to make the choice whether to break with the friends for ever or wait until the implant wears off and start using again.
The implant has a lifespan of three months. By that time a scab has grown over the totally damaged relationship and one can start working on the how to overcome addiction.
My daughter used the implant for a year and thereafter she went to a rehab to work on her mind.

I apologise for this lengthy reply but according to statistics there has to be more of you out there with similar problems.

[Michon]

I wish your daughter and family only the best in the process of recovery.

[chipwelder]

Having no personal experience with it, and only second hand experience... I came to the conclusion that if my kid ever starts with any drug, I HOPE I will have the strength to immediately kick them out, and tell all the family that they cannot be trusted with money and they will buy drugs using it. They have to hit rock bottom before they are too damaged and have damaged others too much. Rock bottom only comes when there is no drugs or food or accommodation. I can only hope that the drugs' hold is low enough that they won't yet consider crimes and prostitution viable.   

More strength to you. I honestly don't know if I could do it.

[hans]

Hitting rock bottom is very often the only way to change an addicts mind.

[Timber_MG]

This forum has seen first hand what happens when a suspected substance dependency moved someone to monetise the forum's goodwill both for donations and for moving questionable goods.

[hans]

When an addict needs drugs, nothing is sacred.

[TimbaLand]

This forum has seen first hand what happens when a suspected substance dependency moved someone to monetise the forum's goodwill both for donations and for moving questionable goods.

Very true. People become very scheming to get the next fix.

[KenMasters]

Very true. People become very scheming to get the next fix.

A friend of mine kicked the snot out of himself so he could tell his parents thieves broke in and robbed the place.

[Jozua]

A small story

Years ago I dealt with a chronic drug dependant 35 year old male. According to textbook theory he was beyond the point of therapeutic help. Yet his unskilled elderly mother took it upon herself to never leave his side - he was never left alone and under constant supervision for months. She managed to save him and do what no therapist could ever dream om doing. 

In hindsight, I now firmly believe that if your kid is a drug dependant and counseling does not work, hire a physically strong person who is stronger than your child and sign a financially rewarding contract with him/her that he will to never leave the side of your child for at least a year.  If need be cuff him to your kid for the period for there will be times when the person needs to mentally and physically strong enough to withstand the drug related tantrums.   

Sometimes counseling does not help- it is what you do to manage the situation.

[TimbaLand]

In hindsight, I now firmly believe that if your kid is a drug dependant and counseling does not work, hire a physically strong person who is stronger than your child and sign a financially rewarding contract with him/her that he will to never leave the side of your child for at least a year.  If need be cuff him to your kid for the period for there will be times when the person needs to mentally and physically strong enough to withstand the drug related tantrums.   

Sometimes counseling does not help- it is what you do to manage the situation.

Interesting approach that. The challenge with society today is we just wanna massage everything.

[Jozua]

Timbaland-

The problem with drug addicts is they can have the best intentions but when the urge hit there is no stopping unless you physically restrain them from accessing drugs - until their body has adapted to the new environment  24 hr supervision is the only way.

I can tell you lotsa stories - another interesting one was of a teenage girl - also counseled to the hilt and nothing worked.  Eventually her older brother just lost it with her one afternoon and blik-s-med her so well that it looked as if she was in street-fight.  In her case, it was a turning point and no further treatment was required.

[JNouw]

I'm currently standing by a friend that is an alcoholic. Been to rehab once and relapsed. The addiction is the same as in drugs, just that alcohol is easier to obtain.