Author Topic: Time to go!  (Read 7410 times)

Offline Rodney_gold

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #30 on: November 01, 2014, 09:38:31 AM »
Despite 24 hour nursing , we couldnt take care of my mom at her home (or mine) , and had to send her to a frial care home(a real good one , R27k a month)
amazingly enough she perked up there , having the best nursing care , a whole phalanx of gofers , ppl she could talk to and moan at etc.
some times you got to do what you got to do.. don't feel guilty , you arent trained to deal with situations like this , and instead of destroying your family dynamic etc - you have done the right thing for both your fam and her..
My mom lived in frail care for 3 years - happily - till she willed herself to die as her various conditions that had got worse made her life hell...
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Offline Swindlehurstguy

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #31 on: November 01, 2014, 01:19:52 PM »
hats off Ballistic, takes real courage and a loving heart to look after your mom the way you have, indeed, doing those things that you would sooner a nurse would have, must have taken tons of character. For many people sending the folks off to an old age home or frailty care is all too easy, for you, not so, because you have a healthy concept of what family is, thanks for the reminder that as families we need each other!

Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #32 on: November 01, 2014, 06:40:38 PM »
Now that she has been there for almost 2 weeks, I can see the effects of proper care. She is stronger and more willing, more responsive where speech is concerned, even though she keeps asking me on what ship I came in on  :whistler: Anyway, I just couldn't understand why after all the effort I put in, she could not be like this while she was at home.

As you Rodney said

Quote
best nursing care , a whole phalanx of gofers , ppl she could talk to and moan at etc.


And mommy can moan ne!  :BWAHAHAH:

But thank you to all for the encouraging words, I so do appreciate it.

Offline LAV

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #33 on: November 06, 2014, 07:40:24 PM »
Thinking of you. It can never be easy.
Vaal Triangle (Southern Gauteng)

Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #34 on: November 07, 2014, 07:01:45 PM »
Thanx Lav!

Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #35 on: December 14, 2014, 07:42:07 PM »
Why do I feel like I threw here away  :vsad:

Offline adie

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #36 on: December 14, 2014, 07:52:53 PM »
Why do I feel like I threw here away  :vsad:

Don't guilt yourself (there may be others doing that).
Read your previous post to remind yourself how much better off your mum is where she is.
And there is nothing wrong in being better off yourself.

Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #37 on: December 14, 2014, 10:52:38 PM »
you're right about the "others"

A supposed friend told me today I will be sorry for putting her there. I'll see one day................. aaagh

I'm tired, later guys.

Offline andredt

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #38 on: January 14, 2015, 01:44:48 PM »
Despite 24 hour nursing , we couldnt take care of my mom at her home (or mine) , and had to send her to a frial care home(a real good one , R27k a month)
amazingly enough she perked up there , having the best nursing care , a whole phalanx of gofers , ppl she could talk to and moan at etc.
some times you got to do what you got to do.. don't feel guilty , you arent trained to deal with situations like this , and instead of destroying your family dynamic etc - you have done the right thing for both your fam and her..
My mom lived in frail care for 3 years - happily - till she willed herself to die as her various conditions that had got worse made her life hell...
27K a month. HOLY MOLY!
For the love of music.
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Offline Peter Carpenter

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #39 on: January 14, 2015, 03:13:52 PM »
R4,800 for Mom in a private room just 2 years ago, nearby in Pinelands, Mom loved the fab. meals x3 daily
and enjoyed the company made and the wonderful care of the staff, loved it there!
Mom couldn't cope with Dad's illness, I came home to help, into an attached private apartment, then Dad
lasted just 2 weeks in hospital. Mom lost a leg and only agreed to a home before the loss of the 2nd.
Was joyful to hear from many of Mom's braveness. Much like you, had to cope alone.

Don't fret Ballistic, Rodney's posting applies. Cap off to you, you can be proud of what you do in the love of your Mother.

Offline senyetse

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #40 on: January 14, 2015, 04:26:40 PM »
That must have been so hard.  My parents are mid-70s, can see they're geeting old now.  All the best!

Offline ingenieus

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #41 on: January 14, 2015, 06:17:10 PM »
My mom also has Alzheimers. Luckily my dad is still up to the job of taking care of her. Sadly, there is 350km of highway and several very expensive tollgates between us and them. My sister and I try to visit every six weeks or so. Every time we get there, the deterioration in her condition is evident. She is rather difficult to get along with. Her favorite pastime is watching the Travel channel on DStv, with the sound off.

Any change in her surroundings upsets her. Once, she complained that there was a red light on the decoder instead of a green one when she got to the lounge. I had to explain that this was because I had switched off the decoder the night before. Another time, she was upset because one of the kids moved a pillow on the couch. The reality is that the mother I had known and loved all my life will never be back.

An aunt died of Alzheimers a couple of years ago. My uncle passed away before her. For various reasons, he could not stay with her in the frail care facility but he visited almost daily. Apparently, she kept asking about him when my cousin and his wife visited. Every time that it was explained to her that he was deceased, she would be distraught all over again. She died only a few months later.

On a lighter note, here is a story on the latest overseas development in caring for those with dementia:

http://gizmodo.com/inside-an-amazing-village-designed-just-for-people-with-1526062373/+matepetrany

And a  German nursing home has come up with a novel idea to stop Alzheimer's patients from wandering off - a phantom bus stop:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2069467/Wayward-Alzheimers-patients-foiled-by-fake-bus-stop.html

Offline kamikazi

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #42 on: January 14, 2015, 07:33:52 PM »
My grandmother had hearing aids as well. There was a crisis at least twice a week where they would go missing. I think one pair ended up being microwaved! Often you would have an entire conversation only to find my grandmother wasn't wearing them to begin with! :giggle:

Offline Eish

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #43 on: January 14, 2015, 08:17:49 PM »
Why do I feel like I threw here away  :vsad:

Damn dude, that is hectic.  Tough calls are all characterised by that heavy feeling, reminding us that we are good people.  Only psychopaths a free from those types of feelings.

All the best for you and for your mom.  I am sure they will not only take good care of her, she will also find much needed company and loads of wisdom around her peers.
There are rules, and rules must be followed

Offline Mongoose

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #44 on: June 12, 2015, 05:02:21 PM »
Just got some very sad news and thought I would share it with you guys. Ballistics mom passed away on Tuesday at the age of 71. Was quite a sad affair when I saw him. My condolences to him and his family.