Author Topic: Time to go!  (Read 5927 times)

Offline Bernard

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #15 on: October 22, 2014, 03:27:45 PM »
ballistic, my heart goes out to you. Don't feel guilty ...... it's the best thing you could have done for her, honestly.
My dad had alzheimers and died two years ago. He was in Cape Town and I'm in Great Brak and every Friday he would phone and say...." It's me, I'm checking up on you" Now I miss those calls. I also had to take him to the loo when whenever I visited him and my mom. I just spoke to him the whole time so there were no awkward moments to dwell on. One of the "hardest to accept" moments was when I went down for the Argus. I usually pop the folks in the car and drive the route with them. He kept asking me who I was. For 57 years we were a very close family with lots of good memories growing up. When we were not there at the Rathfelder retirement complex he was very rough on my mom. Often he wouldn't know who she was, he would kick the front door to get out etc. It tore her to pieces to put him in a frail care home but it was the best thing for all concerned....nobody felt bad and we all understood. After the Argus I gave them a lift to the Constantiaberg Clinic before heading back to Great Brak. I got out, gave him a big hug and said "be good" .......... Still miss the big guy  :)

Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #16 on: October 22, 2014, 03:40:33 PM »
Thanx man,

I'm basically in this alone, so it will take a bit more time to get over it. Some might say I am petty, but donder! it breaks a mans heart. 

Offline watz

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #17 on: October 22, 2014, 04:16:23 PM »
dude this thread made me think of my mom  .....let me phone her to check up on her .

Offline Family_Dog

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #18 on: October 22, 2014, 04:33:32 PM »
I think you are unnecessarily suffering guilt symptoms. My Mom came to stay with me at about age 88 and she used to go to one of the local Aged Care Centres twice weekly, out of her own free will. There she attended Church services as well as outings and other suitable entertainment with people of her own age. She used to tell me she wished she could get a permanent place there but I was having none of it, due to the very reasons you have stated above.

At age 90 she had lens implants in both eyes because of cataracts. She was elated, she could now see clearly and read newspapers once again, with out the need for a magnifying glass.

At age 93, she tripped and broke her hip. Doctors told her that she would now be relatively immobile and would need a walking aid or wheelchair to get around. Yeah, right! She used to carry a tray with a mug of coffee and plate of biscuits in her one hand, while carrying her walking stick in the other, and even step over the cross Ridgeback-Boxer I used to have.

At age 95 the doctor advised that she be placed in a frail-care centre. This was the happiest day of her life, she was now going to be with her friends at long last on a full-time basis and could not wait for the day we took her there. She lived happily there for over two years, we had a surprise blast for her on her 97th birthday.







Three weeks after this she quietly slipped away at Hospital, where we had taken her because of low blood pressure. But she had a brilliant life, right up until the very last day! In fact, more so, because she wanted to be at Elandshaven Frail Care Centre.


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Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #19 on: October 22, 2014, 06:48:39 PM »
Sorry to hear about you loss FD.

You mom was certainly a good age and I'm sure she lived her life to the full. Reminds me of my granny, passed at age 97. My mom on the other hand has/and knows nobody at the home. But what I am hoping for is that she will somehow get that zest for life again. Maybe mixing with people of her own age will do her some good, then they have outings and other activities etc. There are physio's there as well that will assist and help her to use those legs

But I'll see how things go from here, my first visit is gonna be on Saturday, can't wait for that.

Offline Family_Dog

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #20 on: October 22, 2014, 07:46:57 PM »
I'm sure she will mix in with others there, their activities are designed for that. Give her a few days to get to know the other folk and soon she'll be purring like a kitten!  ;)


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Offline Curlycat

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #21 on: October 22, 2014, 08:52:35 PM »
Ballistic your experience saddens my heart. I feel for you buddy.

Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #22 on: October 22, 2014, 09:35:54 PM »
Quote
Ballistic your experience saddens my heart. I feel for you buddy.

Aaah, no worries.

Thanx to all for the kind words. After alot of time thinking, I have come to this conclusion. My feelings of guilt will be around as long as I allow it to be. I will instead concentrate on the family I have with me, but surely won't forget about mom :).

So be gone with you GUILT :whip: :whip: :whip:

Offline Family_Dog

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #23 on: October 22, 2014, 09:53:45 PM »
Yes, that is the way. She will always be your mom and will love to see you but the care she gets in the frail care centre is far better than you could ever hope to be able to provide for at home.


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Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #24 on: October 22, 2014, 10:01:22 PM »
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Yes, that is the way. She will always be your mom and will love to see you

Net soo.  :)

Quote
but the care she gets in the frail care centre is far better than you could ever hope to be able to provide for at home.

I hope so, of anders skop ek gat jong!

Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #25 on: October 25, 2014, 04:41:59 PM »
I just thought I would let you guys know how mom is doing.

Thankfully, alot better than what she was while she was at home. I'm impressed with the care and the improvement she has made thus far, and in such a short time nogal. Just a beeeg thanx to all for the encouraging words. It means alot to me, especially coming from people I have never met. I guess the world still has some good left in it after all  :)

 :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs:

Offline adie

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #26 on: October 30, 2014, 09:46:47 PM »
I hope you are getting some shut-eye- and dog/ neighbour issues are sorted out.

Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #27 on: October 31, 2014, 06:39:22 PM »
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I hope you are getting some shut-eye-

Thanx for asking, I tiep like a baby :-) As for the dog/neighbour issue. Hardly any barking, I think the dog seems to be settling in a bit, but still have the stench of the poo, and, and there always is one, I have grinding going on till about 7 in the evening. I feel like throwing him a meatball with crushed glass in it. Hopefully he will take it :thumbs:

Offline Kent Kassler

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #28 on: October 31, 2014, 07:36:38 PM »
Trust me dude.....no man will take a meatball while he is grinding.....it wont work.
Audiophile Sound Sommelier Extraordinaire....aka Manic Depressive Temporary Void Filler Deluxe.

Offline ballistic

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Re: Time to go!
« Reply #29 on: October 31, 2014, 08:05:55 PM »
what gets me is, they doing all this grinding right in the  :cr@p:! Jurre nee man! Maybe it's the norm for them to be in the  :cr@p: Maybe they  :thinking:e the :cr@p: is  :groovy: I think it's  :puke: