I thought I would share my experiances with you guys.
My mom is 70 years old, suffers from diabetes, alzheimers and high blood pressure and I have been looking after her for several months now. That included having to bathe, dress and as of late having to feed her occasionally as she now finds it difficult to even hold a fork or spoon. This also included little things like moving her legs on and off the bed, changing her daipers, doing her washing, making sure she gets her medication in the morning and evenings, making her some breakfast and tea, lunch and supper, brushing her hair, cleaning her room etc. Then we get the constant calling early hours of the morning, just to be asked to pull the blanket straight. Which by the way was already in place, and as you lay your head down to fall asleep again, a call for water or something to drink. Very often my 10 year old would be standing by my bedside saying " Gam is calling (her nickname)" because I could'nt hear her call, and this at 4am. I situation like this affect your whole family. Kids have this tendancy to say what is on ther minds, often without thinking. Whic is when we as parents have to step in adn say things like, "Hey that's your granny you talking about!" or "why must she always call me, jussso!"
But the hardest thing for me (and I am sure most men will agree) was when it came to the bathing. I tell you this, THAT NO MAN SHOULD HAVE TO WASH HIS MOMS BUSINESS!!!! It's just not right to do that, and it just never gets easier on you.
So after a long battle, she is finally off to a frail care home this morning as I can no longer offer her the care that I so much wanted to give her. In act, I think I will do more damage by keeping her here at home. A very difficult decision to make. Even while I am typing this, I am trying to convince myself that I should keep her at home. Reason for me still wanting to do that, no human being should be on ther own at this age and in this condition. They should be with family!!!! And then you have her crying and saying, "please dont put me in a home" Jurre man, that softens the heart in a jiffy!
Heaven forbid that any of you should have to make this decision, if it comes to that just remember one thing, you cannot offer your parents the care they need when they are at this stage. They need 24 hour pro care. Unless you have the funds for it, maybe sell the power amp or those yellow cones, something like that :-)
I ask that one day when you are no longer here, that you get on the AVf Forums, read this and forgive me for letting you go and putting you in there, and that you can see I had no choice.
Soooo.......Have a blessed day forumites!!! and remember "chin up!"