Author Topic: The Cape Town Sessions by Kent Kassler(no porkies in these reviews!)  (Read 25988 times)

Offline Kent Kassler

A cold and wet morning greeted the Capetonian DIY community also known as "Anal Are Us".....this dull and gloomy day however could not dampen our spirits(but it certainly could warp a baffle or two)...... and did based on some of the listening tests but more on Jacques speakers later....i travelled with Alternative Route along the exact same road anyone else would have which kinda makes his name unimpressive dont you think?We arrived at the Cape Malay Quarters(well armed of course just in case!) but found a community of pug walking,bleach-skinned,botox-injected Sea Point trophy wives(or were they Pay to Play workers?) walking around, blissfully unaware of the dangerous area they were in......after 2 or 3 stops by Jacques to "seek direction" he found himself and realised he was already seeing someone and we made our way to this elitist gathering.......
Audiophile Sound Sommelier Extraordinaire....aka Manic Depressive Temporary Void Filler Deluxe.

Offline Kent Kassler

....parking was secure and plentiful as it should be when it cost more than i paid for a 100wpc amp just the other day,we uncovered Alty's Seas Maya's from beneath a warm blanket that was an ancestral gift bestowed upon his life partner.... and his use of it would lead to a scolding that no self-respecting man should have to endure,shame on her....and in front of me on top of it!Entering the Quarters i expected to see any number of fullterm ladies giving birth on bales of straw beneath oil-filled lamps for light and warmth but no......just lavish shops,one selling massive large colour filled glass marbles and goenies and plates that appear to have spent too long in the oven....and people pay 10's of thousands of rands for these folks!Another store opposite with a lady suffering severe acne selling skin products and herbal remedies that she insists works.......aah and there it is just ahead of us "The Listening Room"......
Audiophile Sound Sommelier Extraordinaire....aka Manic Depressive Temporary Void Filler Deluxe.

Offline alternativeroute

 :ROFLMAO:


The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.  :nutter:

Offline Kent Kassler

^^^dont worry the reviews are coming,i'm just building tension and creating scenery....isn't that what a good reviewer should do?
Audiophile Sound Sommelier Extraordinaire....aka Manic Depressive Temporary Void Filler Deluxe.

Offline WalkerJohn

 :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:Just Plain ,Brilliant!! :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:

Offline WD

 :notworthy: :clap:

Offline Kent Kassler

....a gathering of welcoming faces awaited us,arms wide open and a twinkle in their eyes but i just whispered to Jacques that i prefer to get to know people first before jumping in with random abandon so he squeezed my hand and assured me that everything would be okay....we placed the Maya's on a shrine outside the store alongside other lesser designs but credible first attempts for novices and watched as all these lonely men full of voids in their lives entered a bizarre prayer routine in front of them.....like you,i too was uncomfortable about this,they were close and breathing quite near to them and we certainly did not want chilly air cooling our pre-heated voice coils so a perimeter was set up with security to keep things in check....
Audiophile Sound Sommelier Extraordinaire....aka Manic Depressive Temporary Void Filler Deluxe.

Offline Kent Kassler

...the Maya's were first into the room....amplification was some goth sand-filled unit called an Emo...something or other,pre-amp was a Threshold that very nearly had my ears reach mine,cdp was a Sugden and rca's were Van den Dul's.....the speaker cables were Irrelevant,go to the other post now into 20+ pages if you want to read about that nonsense and stop trying to pooh on my parade,this is my moment to shine and i wont have anyone discussing,oxygen-free,cryogenic,non-scientific bulltwang here UNDERSTOOD?....Maya's were approximately 2.5mtr's apart,slightly camel-toed in and looked very pretty in offcut,cheap b-grade oak wallpaper attached with Pritt.....her curves are elegant but simple and she has two little posts for turning and twisting your cable into....Rod asked how many listeners were present and those who raised their hands were promptly thrown out and replaced by audiophiles,bloody intruders...is nothing sacred anymore??.....next up is the review.....
Audiophile Sound Sommelier Extraordinaire....aka Manic Depressive Temporary Void Filler Deluxe.

Offline Kent Kassler

.....i struggle to find adjectives to adequately describe the effects that this speaker had on me....the depth the width the heights......to which these should be sunk, scattered and dropped from are just too painful to contemplate.....no amount of melted werewolf bullet silver turned into wiring could brighten up the sound of these dark,demonic,bottom-feeders.....there were however moments of inspired brilliance that emanated from them when the silence between tracks arrived but then sadly were replaced by another song.....the "Carmen" piece was especially pleasing because at that moment we had more than just one potential murderer in the room......during the final track on the test disc "Heavy Fuel" by Dire Straits it came to me just how prophetic a song this was......the speakers certainly were in deep trouble and petrol the only fuel that could save them.....nice try Jacques,dont stop trying but for Pete's sake dont keep me crying.....who was second up?
Audiophile Sound Sommelier Extraordinaire....aka Manic Depressive Temporary Void Filler Deluxe.

Offline alternativeroute



Second up was the legendary cheeks by BB2




The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.  :nutter:

Offline Kent Kassler

Re: The Cape Town Sessions by Kent Kassler(no porkies in these reviews!)
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2012, 05:39:55 PM »
i spent 45minutes trying to get music out of those Maggies at the back.....no-one told me they were bass traps :headbanger:
Audiophile Sound Sommelier Extraordinaire....aka Manic Depressive Temporary Void Filler Deluxe.

Offline placebo

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Re: The Cape Town Sessions by Kent Kassler(no porkies in these reviews!)
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2012, 06:39:43 PM »
Magnificently posted Andre. :clap:   :clap:
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Offline skollie

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Re: The Cape Town Sessions by Kent Kassler(no porkies in these reviews!)
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2012, 07:18:15 PM »
What kind of poofter speakers is that :point:

And is that Lenin playing a guitar instead of letting it all hang out :faint:

mafioso

Nice post, AV :clap:
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Offline Kent Kassler

Re: The Cape Town Sessions by Kent Kassler(no porkies in these reviews!)
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2012, 07:20:58 PM »
....anyone have a pic of Dodja's magnificent r2d2 amps.....dont you dare change a thing on those beaut's sir....it is perfect the first time round and changing it would be a sin....they are MAGNIFICENT!
Audiophile Sound Sommelier Extraordinaire....aka Manic Depressive Temporary Void Filler Deluxe.

Offline Kent Kassler

Re: The Cape Town Sessions by Kent Kassler(no porkies in these reviews!)
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2012, 07:29:57 PM »
...thanks Mafioso.....that was fun ;)....had an absolute blast with the chaps....and then the Katie Melua started playing and my mood turned..... and if i see another tree of green or red roses too  :walled:
Audiophile Sound Sommelier Extraordinaire....aka Manic Depressive Temporary Void Filler Deluxe.