Author Topic: Joke for the day  (Read 1294919 times)

Offline Family_Dog

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8955 on: June 26, 2020, 12:19:38 PM »
Trompie, here are some suggestions for your very bland signature:

Quote
*Insert profound or witty phrase here*


"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
Winston Churchill

"Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having."
Mitch Hedberg

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
Mega Jones

"The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!"
Danny Jansen

"Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol."
Anonymous

"There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them."
Terry Pratchett

"Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they're drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle."
Paul McCartney

"It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her."
W.C. Fields

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."
Anonymous


Don't thank me, you deserve better.


-F_D



-Eric

That Guy in South Africa...
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Offline Trompie67

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8956 on: June 26, 2020, 12:32:11 PM »
Trompie, here are some suggestions for your very bland signature:


"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
Winston Churchill

"Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having."
Mitch Hedberg

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
Mega Jones

"The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!"
Danny Jansen

"Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol."
Anonymous

"There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them."
Terry Pratchett

"Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they're drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle."
Paul McCartney


"It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her."
W.C. Fields

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."
Anonymous


Don't thank me, you deserve better.


-F_D

 :notworthy: :notworthy: Thank you F_D!

I shall choose the Trumpet one, seeing as my forum nickname was originally Trumpet, which got morphed into Trompet & then Trompie!  :point:
"Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they're drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle."
Paul McCartney

With thanks to F_D for this pearl of wisdom!

Offline Family_Dog

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8957 on: June 26, 2020, 02:15:59 PM »
I had a feeling you would grab that one. They are all worthy though!  ;)


-F_D



-Eric

That Guy in South Africa...
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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/vintage_tube/
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Offline Thys

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8958 on: June 26, 2020, 02:23:53 PM »
+ The beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert - Kris Kristofferson

Offline Deviation

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8959 on: June 26, 2020, 05:03:40 PM »

Online Phase

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8960 on: June 26, 2020, 07:34:46 PM »

Offline zer0

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8961 on: June 28, 2020, 03:09:30 PM »
 

Offline Deviation

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8962 on: June 29, 2020, 02:23:00 PM »

Offline Thys

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8963 on: June 29, 2020, 03:21:42 PM »
 :ROFLMAO:

Offline BJ

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8964 on: June 30, 2020, 05:02:10 AM »


 :roll: Hmmm, may need a poll on this one.

The ancient name for the bottom one was “The Controller”

But roundabout the time of the discovery of PMS

It was decided that the name was no longer politically correct and was changed to PRE....

 :angel:
Shunyata - See No Evil; Hear No Evil

Offline HB

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8965 on: June 30, 2020, 09:43:27 AM »
^^^  :BWAHAHAH:
When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take it!            [Yogi Berra]

Offline chrisc

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8966 on: July 04, 2020, 11:00:43 AM »


Music is the shorthand of emotion

Offline LouisF

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8967 on: July 04, 2020, 12:48:28 PM »
 :whistler: ;D
"No matter how educated, talented, rich or cool you believe you are,
how you treat people ultimately tells all."
David Avocado Wolfe

I have learned more from people who have differed from me than from those who have agreed with me.

Offline Deviation

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8968 on: July 04, 2020, 09:39:51 PM »

Online naughty

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #8969 on: July 05, 2020, 08:42:19 PM »
 Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, “It could have been worse.”

To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it. On the golf course one day, one of them said, “Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself!”

“That’s awful,” said Frank, “But it could have been worse.”

“How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “Could it have been worse?”

“Well,” replied Frank, “If it happened the night before, I’d be dead now...”