Author Topic: Joke for the day  (Read 552100 times)

Online DRNB

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #30 on: February 13, 2008, 03:43:57 PM »
Why it's important to understand English -

I had a bunch of Canadian
dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window
at the local bank. I stood in the short line.

Just one lady in front of me. . .an Asian lady who was trying to
exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the
teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today
I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders
and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people,
too".

 :D :D :D
"There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out." (Russian Proverb)

Offline Blues

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #31 on: February 15, 2008, 10:45:07 PM »
 HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK_

 
 
1.         Open a new file in your computer.
 
2.         Name it "Robert Mugabe".
 
3.         Send it to the Recycle Bin.
 
4.         Empty the Recycle Bin.
 
5.         Your PC will ask you. "Do you really want to get rid of
            "Robert Mugabe ?"
 
6.         Firmly Click "Yes."
 
7.         Feel better? 
 
 
 
Tomorrow we'll do Jacob Zuma
I had the blues, so bad one time,
It put my face in a permanent frown
Now I'm feelin' so much better,
I could cakewalk into town

Offline Ampdog

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #32 on: February 16, 2008, 01:54:58 AM »
That had rather be a L A R G E  file.
Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.  (Erich Fromm)

Offline Blues

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #33 on: February 16, 2008, 08:41:29 AM »
never worry about the size of the file, but it may very well be a corrupted one... ;)
I had the blues, so bad one time,
It put my face in a permanent frown
Now I'm feelin' so much better,
I could cakewalk into town

Offline Blues

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #34 on: February 25, 2008, 03:29:13 AM »
2 audiophiles talking. 1st one says, "Did you hear the sad news about Bob; he died of a sudden illness." 2nd audiophile says, "That's so sad, what did he have?" 1st audiophile replies, " Krell, Thiel, Theta, and Nordost."
I had the blues, so bad one time,
It put my face in a permanent frown
Now I'm feelin' so much better,
I could cakewalk into town

RR

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #35 on: February 26, 2008, 09:24:00 AM »
2 audiophiles talking. 1st one says, "Did you hear the sad news about Bob; he died of a sudden illness." 2nd audiophile says, "That's so sad, what did he have?" 1st audiophile replies, " Krell, Thiel, Theta, and Nordost."

Good one!!!! :D :D

Offline Ampdog

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #36 on: February 29, 2008, 04:54:04 AM »
Something Edward Marsh wrote, that I hope is not too well-known:

Dialog between an M.O. and a recruit:

MO:  How are your bowels working?
R  :  Havn't been issued with any, sir
MO:  I mean, are you constipated?
R  :  No, sir; I volunteered.
MO:  Heavens man, don't you know the King's English?
R  :  No, sir - is he?
Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.  (Erich Fromm)

Gatskop

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #37 on: February 29, 2008, 02:00:58 PM »
Q: How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.

Offline kHz

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #38 on: February 29, 2008, 02:10:13 PM »
The most popular for the ladies is the one carrying 2 cups of coffee and 12 doughnuts…

Online Shonver

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #39 on: February 29, 2008, 02:30:43 PM »
The most popular for the ladies is the one carrying 2 cups of coffee and 12 doughnuts…

That would be the sighted guy in the blind nudist colony.
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Offline Viagara

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #40 on: February 29, 2008, 02:37:52 PM »
That would be the sighted guy in the blind nudist colony.

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Don't take life too seriously, you will not make it out alive.....

(Location Cape Town)
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Offline kHz

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #41 on: February 29, 2008, 02:50:23 PM »
 ;D

DevillEars

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #42 on: February 29, 2008, 05:58:00 PM »
Of course there's always the one about the dwarf (aka "height-challenged male individual") who was thrown out of the nudist colony...

... for poking his nose into other peoples' business...

 ::)

Offline Ampdog

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #43 on: March 02, 2008, 08:21:12 PM »
Groucho Marx (of Marx brothers fame) once said: I never forget a face - but I will make an exception in your case.

For encore: I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.  (Erich Fromm)

Offline Hennie

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #44 on: March 03, 2008, 11:49:51 AM »
ANGER MANAGEMENT

Husband to wife: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.

Husband: Now how does that help?

Wife: I use your toothbrush.