Author Topic: Joke for the day  (Read 682964 times)

Offline AV

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #15 on: January 30, 2008, 08:36:17 PM »
Most definitely the joke for today; the minister of minerals and energy said:

"Sleep more, it will save energy, and you even get cleverer" ??? ??? ??? ??? ::) ::) ::) ::)

I thought it was April fool's day when I read it........


Who are you to judge, it certainly worked for her, wonder how many children she have. :D
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DevillEars

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #16 on: January 30, 2008, 09:43:01 PM »
Who are you to judge, it certainly worked for her, wonder how many children she have. :D

This was in response to an RR post that quoted the Minister of Minerals and Energy as saying:

Quote
Sleep more, it will save energy, and you even get cleverer

If, in fact it DID work for her and she DID wind up with a horde of kiddies, her only worry now is that they might get married before she does...
On the other hand, if the sleeping was done all on her lonesome, then we can only hope that she had an adequate supply of batteries for....

The moral of the story? Sex was designed as a duet - solo performances are frowned upon in polite society!

Offline The Godfather

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #17 on: January 31, 2008, 08:32:29 AM »

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 pm .

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
 
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

RR

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #18 on: January 31, 2008, 08:54:18 AM »
Who are you to judge, it certainly worked for her, wonder how many children she have. :D

If, in fact it DID work for her and she DID wind up with a horde of kiddies, her only worry now is that they might get married before she does...
On the other hand, if the sleeping was done all on her lonesome, then we can only hope that she had an adequate supply of batteries for....

The moral of the story? Sex was designed as a duet - solo performances are frowned upon in polite society!


hehe. HOWEVER, given that one gets cleverer with sleep, she must have been bonking away (playing away.... ;D) too much, and got NO sleep

DevillEars

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #19 on: January 31, 2008, 07:00:52 PM »
Here's a terrible one for the day:

Jan has dialled into Classic FM to take part in their morning quiz and has just had a question posed about the identity of a Portuguese explorer that sailed around the Cape way back when, when his maid sticks her head 'round the corner:

Maid: "Master, wat moet ek noe doen?"
Jan:  "Was gou die kamer!!"
Classic FM announcer: "Is the correct answer!!!"

OUCH!!!

Offline DRNB

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #20 on: February 01, 2008, 01:08:23 PM »
And soon the Escom electricity problems will be something of the past.

"There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out." (Russian Proverb)

Offline The Godfather

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #21 on: February 01, 2008, 01:41:08 PM »
ROFL - Read my spkurb at the bottom. I knew my hero would solve the prob

Offline GearSlave

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #22 on: February 01, 2008, 02:35:33 PM »
spkurb

 ;D ;D You just got back from the pub? ;D ;D
Resistance is not futile; it is voltage divided by current (R=V/I)

Offline The Godfather

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #23 on: February 01, 2008, 04:57:02 PM »
;D ;D You just got back from the pub? ;D ;D
ROFLOLFLOFL

Offline Ampdog

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #24 on: February 02, 2008, 11:10:52 PM »
OK - the usual male-female one. (NO, not that usual!)

A spicey young thing (OK, make her middle-aged) once married a wealthy old f... . But he got back at her, making her promise that when he dies, she would put all his money in the coffin with him.

Cometh the day, and she tearfully placed a fairly large (heavy) box in the coffin, friends looking on agast. Burial, blessings, earth-to-earth and earth on top and so on. One friend hazarded: "But - er - you surely did not actually BURY the money with him!?"  She did, she said; after all a promise is a promise ...... "But - how?"  "Oh", replied the grieving widow. "I placed a cheque in the box....."   
Audio must be the only branch of engineering where lack of basics' knowledge is considered a superior form of wisdom. (Anon)

Offline Blues

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #25 on: February 07, 2008, 07:55:54 PM »
Eskom bosses have stated that no-one is allowed to refer to "blackouts" as this is not politically correct. In future we will speak of "previously-lit areas."
I had the blues, so bad one time,
It put my face in a permanent frown
Now I'm feelin' so much better,
I could cakewalk into town

Offline Ampdog

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #26 on: February 11, 2008, 11:55:21 PM »
OK, actually puzzle for the day:

What is small, brown and goes mooz - mooz (sound)?

(Answer tomorrow.)
Audio must be the only branch of engineering where lack of basics' knowledge is considered a superior form of wisdom. (Anon)

Offline The Godfather

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #27 on: February 12, 2008, 08:50:21 AM »
A small brown cow?

Offline Ampdog

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #28 on: February 12, 2008, 11:43:43 PM »
Quote
What is small, brown and goes mooz - mooz (sound)?

Got it?

A bee flying backwards.
Audio must be the only branch of engineering where lack of basics' knowledge is considered a superior form of wisdom. (Anon)

Offline The Godfather

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Re: Joke for the day
« Reply #29 on: February 13, 2008, 05:06:41 AM »
Hey that was a trick - Brown! They're Yellow and Black man

The answer was definatly small brwon cow ;D