Ah, the Absa Platinum account. Wonderful. Had one of those a few years ago. If you want to use the banker for anything out of the ordinary (why the heck else would you want them anyway?!), get yo ass in the branch, 2days from now and then wait in the queue for your 'Absa Personal Banker'. Joy. Then, because it costed about 3x what I could pay at Nedbank I changed and they paid me R750 for my trouble.
I banked with Absa for years, even had a home loan. Went there a month or 2 ago to get my statement for SARS, they couldn't even find a record of the fact that I had a bond less than a year ago. So much for loyalty. Try getting a 4 month statement? Oh no, we have to get that out the archives for you, come back next week.
As far as I know they're the only big bank thats still charging you for using Internet banking and not clogging up their branches.