I've only ever built one set of speakers and also struggled with these questions...and more. This is what I did and why (worked out reasonably well):
- I cut the recess first. The 'flange' of each speaker is different and I don't have a stockpile of bits. Also, I think its a bit safer when routering on veneered mdf. I did however try the depth of the first cut out on the smaller circle first to make sure there's no splintering before starting to cut the larger circle.
- I only found 2 places. The one where I got mine is on Main Reef Rd near the Toyota garage. Can't remeber the name. The other is Primrose Veneer and Board. But they do the veneering. You can bring your pre-cut wood and they stick on. Very thin (0.6) though and only one direction so you have to be careful about sanding through, which happens real easily. Cirr on the forum knows of some in Pretoria. Be ware though, doing your own veneering is not THAT easy. Also the best glue to use (Alcolin Waterproof polyurethane) is more expensive than the work and the veneer at Primrose V&B....
- I did the veneer first. JimGore showed me how the veneer can pull and tear if you put it over a hole. Yes, you can probably cut a hole in the veneer before you stick. Its not that easy to hold it in place on a layer of wet glue though... I didn't want to take the chance though.
Some more free and unsolicited advice

: Don't ever do anything when you're in a rush. The mistakes and bugger ups I made was all when I was running late on my own target and I had to go to supper or something. Rather put it down and continue tomorrow. Fixing a blotch takes much longer than just leaving it for a time when you're not in a hurry.
Enjoy your build! It's not work, you're doing this for your own enjoyment.

EDIT: Or in other words: What Ian said.
