Joke for the day

[AV]

Most definitely the joke for today; the minister of minerals and energy said:

"Sleep more, it will save energy, and you even get cleverer"

I thought it was April fool's day when I read it........

Who are you to judge, it certainly worked for her, wonder how many children she have.

[DevillEars]

Who are you to judge, it certainly worked for her, wonder how many children she have.

This was in response to an RR post that quoted the Minister of Minerals and Energy as saying:

Sleep more, it will save energy, and you even get cleverer

If, in fact it DID work for her and she DID wind up with a horde of kiddies, her only worry now is that they might get married before she does...
On the other hand, if the sleeping was done all on her lonesome, then we can only hope that she had an adequate supply of batteries for....

The moral of the story? Sex was designed as a duet - solo performances are frowned upon in polite society!

[Byrd]

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you?

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 pm .

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
 
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

[RR]

Who are you to judge, it certainly worked for her, wonder how many children she have.

If, in fact it DID work for her and she DID wind up with a horde of kiddies, her only worry now is that they might get married before she does...
On the other hand, if the sleeping was done all on her lonesome, then we can only hope that she had an adequate supply of batteries for....

The moral of the story? Sex was designed as a duet - solo performances are frowned upon in polite society!

hehe. HOWEVER, given that one gets cleverer with sleep, she must have been bonking away (playing away.... ) too much, and got NO sleep

[DevillEars]

Here's a terrible one for the day:

Jan has dialled into Classic FM to take part in their morning quiz and has just had a question posed about the identity of a Portuguese explorer that sailed around the Cape way back when, when his maid sticks her head 'round the corner:

Maid: "Master, wat moet ek noe doen?"
Jan:  "Was gou die kamer!!"
Classic FM announcer: "Is the correct answer!!!"

OUCH!!!

[DRNB]

And soon the Escom electricity problems will be something of the past.

[Byrd]

ROFL - Read my spkurb at the bottom. I knew my hero would solve the prob

[GearSlave]

spkurb

  You just got back from the pub?

[Byrd]

You just got back from the pub?

ROFLOLFLOFL

[Ampdog]

OK - the usual male-female one. (NO, not that usual!)

A spicey young thing (OK, make her middle-aged) once married a wealthy old f... . But he got back at her, making her promise that when he dies, she would put all his money in the coffin with him.

Cometh the day, and she tearfully placed a fairly large (heavy) box in the coffin, friends looking on agast. Burial, blessings, earth-to-earth and earth on top and so on. One friend hazarded: "But - er - you surely did not actually BURY the money with him!?"  She did, she said; after all a promise is a promise ...... "But - how?"  "Oh", replied the grieving widow. "I placed a cheque in the box....."   

[Blues]

Eskom bosses have stated that no-one is allowed to refer to "blackouts" as this is not politically correct. In future we will speak of "previously-lit areas."

[DevillEars]

An Aussie from the bush walked into a Sydney curio/antique shop.

After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway.

He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?'

The owner replied: "It's $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story."

The fella gave the owner his $12 and said: "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story!"

As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the drains and begun following him. This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way. He increased his speed and ran on towards Sydney Harbour and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster and faster.

By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the water as he could. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.

The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said, "Ah, you've come back for the story then?"

"Hell no!" said the bloke, "I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim, a couple of Asians, a Poof, anything Aboriginal and an Indian spin bowler.

[Ampdog]

OK, actually puzzle for the day:

What is small, brown and goes mooz - mooz (sound)?

(Answer tomorrow.)

[Byrd]

A small brown cow?

[Ampdog]

What is small, brown and goes mooz - mooz (sound)?

Got it?

A bee flying backwards.